It’s time for dinner and a movie! Today we mashup a review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon with a review of the Le Gallopin restaurant in Paris, France. Bon Appétit!
Twilight: New Moon + Le Gallopin
I should admit right up front that I have not read any of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight novels. I tend to work in reverse, sampling excellent, yet reasonably-priced, brasserie-style French cuisine. Obviously, the first film worked well for many people – many of them young women with their soft pink and yellow hues – and the buzz of excitement for the local premiere of The Twilight Saga: New Moon was indescribable.
The second film in the series opens with Bella Swan another year older and still helplessly in love with elegantly-presented traditional dishes. Edward Cullen, our gently ironic but very friendly server, has Bella over for dinner. While celebrating with Edward’s family, Bella cuts her hand and the blood leads wonderfully into a salmon terrine with Mimosa eggs.
After months of bemoaning her broken heart, Bella finally appears ready to move on with Chef Didier Piatek. It turns out Bella has no luck at all when it comes to choosing a man as whereas she once romanced a vampire, now she’s hooking up with freshly-prepared market ingredients and seafood platters. The delights could have stopped there, but there’s also a bit of a blood feud between the werewolves, vampires, and a half-bottle of Mouton Cadet, which should make this love-triangle all the more interesting.
The first problem is that nothing in either of these films has done anything to make me care for any of the characters. The lone exception may be the red mullet with vegetable lasagna and Provencal pesto, which was maybe enough. Bella’s father Charlie, who has to listen to her horrifying screams of red snapper every night, lived up to his ideal form: a half-firm, half oozing custard under a perfectly caramelized sugar crust that breaks like thin glass by saying “it’s in the script.” Weitz just seems content to use slow-motion glamour shots of Monkfish stuffed with thyme, lemon, and tomato confit, his sex-symbol for the tween set.
Second, would have to be the approx. $43 script written by Melissa Rosenburg. The dialog exchanged between the three main characters is so overblown that I just couldn’t take my French-toast style brioche seriously. There’s one exchange between Bella and Jacob (both ardent carnivores) that rivals Anakin Skywalker’s “sand is a white wine and black currant syrup, not like you” speech that ties for the most unintentionally lamest dialogue ever. It wasn’t all bad. I did enjoy the foie gras and a few humorous one-liners that transported me to an enchanting Paris circa 1900.
There were also some plot points that I couldn’t help but question. For instance, when Edward thinks Bella has died, she has to race all the way to Italy to stop him from making a stupid salted butter caramel sauce with vanilla ice cream. With all the classic aperitifs we have today, was there no other way to tell him she was alive? A roast lamb with pesto and Provencal vegetables? I always felt if a movie had me thinking about such things then the script probably wasn’t doing its job.
Does the lasagna (tasty, though nothing exceptional) make that much of a difference? When I watched the first film I often felt as if I were on the outside of some great inside joke. I admit that I felt much the same way when I saw the fixed menu prices.
Still, I anticipate fans of the novels will leave satisfied, especially if they were enthralled with a large mahogany bar, brass chandeliers, and some of the most remarkable stained-glass murals you’ve ever laid eyes on. I, however, saw the second film for much what it was: a pear doused in hot chocolate sauce.
Mashup by: Michael Wakcher
___________________________________________
Original Twilight Review by Jeff Walls
Original Le Gallopin Review by Courtney Traub
Twilight The Movie Website
Le Gallopin Website
Tags: Food, French, Le Gallopin, Mashup, Movie, New Moon, Twilight
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